Life Lesson

In 7th Grade I had this teacher Mrs. Green. One day, at the end of January, she told us that for the month of February she was going to bring a basket of candy every day. Enough for all of us! Obviously, we thought that was pretty awesome. But she went on to say that we could only have one piece for the whole month. I knew there was a catch! But it sounded sort of like a riddle, so I was excited.

Later that week, on the first of February, she came to class with a big ol' basket of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. About ten kids took one. I love peanut butter cups, but I was wise enough to wait. After all, there was a whole month of options coming.

On the following day she brought Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies. Mmmmm... One of my favorites. But I had some at home, so I felt comfortable letting this one go. Only two or three kids took one this time. I think everyone was starting to catch on. Several kids who had taken a Reese's the day before got upset when it was reiterated that they only got one for the whole month, and they had already chosen. Some of them didn't understand the "rule" when they chose the Reese's. I think some kids cried. Losers who didn't listen, I thought.

Valentine's day came, and I was pretty excited about the prospect of something really good. The options so far had all been about equal in my mind. I was holding out for that king size Butterfinger or a giant bag of jelly beans or an entire cake to myself or... The possibilities were endless! Mrs. Green's class was the final class of the day, and I was so excited all day about what the candy was going to be. It was Valentine's, it must be something really good! Boy was I mistaken. She brought the basket out and it looked empty! She reached in and took out one of those stupid little hearts. You know, those little chalky ones that say, "Be Mine" or whatever? Yeah, no one went for that. We all had like a hundred that day already. She must think we're idiots!

Eventually we got to the last week of the month. Most people who were left were like me, trying to hold out for the possibility -- what we thought was a certainty -- that the last day would be like the grand finale. For many days in a row, no one took anything! All of us who had patiently waited were surely to be rewarded. But really, our expectations were growing. Could anything really exceed our imaginations? Most of the class had already chosen something and eaten their candy. They just watched as the rest of us greedily held out for something better. It was interesting that some were apparently happy with their decision and defended it to the end. If someone was hungry one day and took a 3 Muskateers, they were sure to explain over and over that 3 Muskateers is their favorite candy bar. We have a need to feel like we made the right choice. Ambiguity and uncertainty are difficult to handle.

End of the month. The last day. Boy, I had missed some good opportunities. The previous week she overheard a big debate in the hall about whether she was going to bring the big one on the last day. Everyone who was left, including me, were like celebrities. We were being watched and analyzed so closely. After class I'd literally get interviewed about why I decided not to go for the Starbursts. "Because the big one's coming..." Oh, I was so certain of myself...

Milky way. That was it! Not a king size Milky Way. Not even a regular size Milky Way. Not even a "fun size" Milky Way. On the last day she brought a basket full of miniature Milky Ways! We're talking those little tiny half-a-bite ones that barely give you a taste -- barely a hint of a Milky Way.

All of us remaining -- I think only three or four of us -- got up and slowly walked to the front and reached into the basket -- shoving our hands deep at that final glimmer of hope that there was something really good buried in there. I took the candy and set it in the middle of my desk and stared down at it for the entire period. I hated it. I wanted to smash it. Finally, on the bus home, I unwrapped it and savored it. I took really small bites to make it last. I convinced myself that I made the right decision. And to this day, Milky Way is and always has been my favorite candy bar.

Interesting fact: if you turned down the first 7 options and then took the next candy that was better than any of the previous ones, you'd have roughly a 37% chance of getting the best one. And you can't do any better.