Facebook Hates Me

I finally got back the ability to request friends, after over a month of having that "privilege" disabled on my account. I had to go back-and-forth with a representative at Facebook over email, who assured me that their system is very sophisticated and secret but agreed that it was mistaken this time.

Today's my birthday, and a few friends have posted messages on my wall to wish me a happy birthday. So I was going through each post and responding to the each person individually. On the third or fourth I got this message:

Warning! Your account could be disabled.

You are using this feature to spam other users. Continued misuse of Facebook's features will result in your account being disabled. If you have any questions or concerns, you can visit our FAQ page here.

Once again they're wrong. Their sophisticated system of spam detection apparently works like this:

if count(wall posts authored since five minutes ago) > 1
then soundTheAlarm();

Note that I wasn't posting the same message to each person. Not copying and pasting a single message. Each one was different.

What's funny about this one, like the last one, is that the messaging leaves no room for false positives. It doesn't say, "You may be using this feature to spam users." It doesn't say, "You're probably using this feature to spam users..." It says, "You are using this feature to spam other users..."

I'm not. Get it together Facebook.